Freeze – Tessa Geogi

Freeze – Tessa Geogi

She wore her hair different today. Nothing great. She’s let her hair down and tucked two hair strands from each side in the back. Hmm, a little less of a mess! Oh she’s put on flowers too. And that too jasmine! So unlike her. It’s evening and the jasmines are already wilted & gone. But so what, they are still flowers! Her thick silky smoky brown hair makes it look like milk chocolate & vanilla toppings on a hard chocolate cake. Sweat drops emerged from her armpit , started running down her midriff. As her boney, cocoa coloured, lean frame tilted to left when she walked swiftly, a tiny, vibrant, bangle shop in the right corner caught her eye. Her thick lashed, deep set, brown eyes twinkled at the very sight of those kaleidoscopic glass bangles. Not that she loves bangles or anything feminine for that matter. Just that it’s her wedding tomorrow. But don’t ask her anything about the guy. She’s as clueless about him as she’s about the stink coming from her worn-out green bandhani saree. But then from tomorrow on, she might have a room with a door all for herself and this stranger. Even better, she might get to use a loo with a door. A door. ‘Door’ in quotes. Now that’s going to be heaven, being able to do the most private of basic needs without having to look around, without discomfort or fear. Who knows, the guy will be nice to her. Or he’ll be a maachod. Whatever. She’s a hardcore optimistic. A smile took place from the corners of her lips spread to her face. Her eyes twinkled brighter. So did her smile.
FREEZE.
The boy in blue shorts held on to the green glass pebbles in his hand. Close. His black Bata shoes snorkeled in the slush pool formed after morning rain. He thought what maa is going to say when she sees his dirty shoes. Oh this day is too good to think of maa and her tantrums. I just want to think about Chuski, he thought. Kala Khatta Chuski! The mere thought of that purplish black syrup on ice slush, with a squeeze of lime and a pinch of masala made him slurrrrrrrrrrrrp. Woooh! Enough to forget Sharmeen maam’s grumpy face, principal’s gyaan and peon’s gaali. But not enough to forget the strawberry scented eraser Debby gave him, the Ben 10 magic pencil Chotu had and the Rugby match his team won today. Lalalala, it’s all lalalala today. Wait, wait. A Chuskiwallah there. His tiny hand went inside his left pocket in search of 5 rupee coins.
FREEZE.
The old man strode past the busy market. He’s a capturer. No. He doesn’t capture hearts, nor is he a photographer who captures moments. He captures worries. As if his own worries aren’t enough. He seeks out miseries & woes. Or is it the other way around? They seek him out? Misery man he is, for sure. And whether or not he could keep up with the pace of the city, this city has been his everything. He feels a deep sense of belonging in every nook and cranny of this place as he wanders about. He searched for worried faces all over the market. A lot, today. He scrutinized all of it. His heart ached wanting to own the worries and pain he’s spotted on those faces. The depth and volume of it made him shudder. A sudden surge of joy took form inside him that he almost forgot why did he come to market. He toyed with every possible reason he could find. Got it, he wanted to get something for Khush, his pet mouse, his one and only living companion back home. If only you can call a 29 sq. ft. space with an asbestos sheet roof, Shankar Cements bag and a few wooden pieces put together, a home! But then in a city perpetually crunched for space, 29 sq. ft. is a luxury, isn’t it? Come to think of it, such an irony to call a mouse who lives there Khush! Gets me laughing. Now the question is from where will he get food with no money. He’s got a plan. Go to grocers, hang around till the crowd gets bigger, steal a handful of rice grains from the opened sack outside. That will do, he rushed.
FREEZE.
The curly head just stood there. Looks like she’s waiting for someone. Her thick mane of hair adds charm to the beautiful, sharp face. The red ‘bus kya?’ t shirt she got from Attic is still wet. And so is her psychedelic dhoti pants. She rewinded the whole day in her mind. The long walk in the drizzle was the best part of the day. Except for the getting t shirt wet part. Her body bent forward and trembled a little, while her heartbeat almost stopped beating because of the cold. She started getting pins and needles in her feet from standing a long time. “Where the hell is Prateik? What the fuck is he doing? Why can’t that SOB call and inform that he’ll be late” prevailed her mind. Can’t blame her though. She’s been waiting for more than 2 hours. If Prateik shows up now, she’ll beat him so much that he will be better off as chaatwala’s paani.LOL. The thought of Prateik in Paanipuri made her LOL. Offo! All her anger just went down with that LOL! Sad. Forget it. Where’s she gonna take him tonight. Leopold Café, then Firangi Paani. Ekdum jhakaas. She took her BB from her cloth bag. Speed-dialled 2. 1 is her dad’s no., not Prateik’s.
FREEZE.
BAAAM!
EXPLOSION!
6:55 pm, 13th July 2011.
Opera House neighbourhoods, Mumbai.
THE END.
Happy or sad, it’s THE END!


© Tessa Geogi

The Smirk – Tessa Geogi

The Smirk – Tessa Geogi

Just as when she was turning the corner, she heard them teasing her. And the smirk widened. She didn’t see the world through her eyes, but through her smirk. And the world just saw the smirk. Occasionally when a smile appeared on her face too, it seemed like a less defiant variation of the smirk. The smirk conquered unseen provinces she was scared of and owned unknown terrains she was dreaming of. It wanted to cross all the lines and so did she. It encountered obstacles and ran into walls. A

part of her she knew never existed was awakened by the smirk. Besides, it decided everything. Held her head high. In all probability, the smirk chose her more than she chose the smirk. But then she stayed true to herself, choosing who she is. She knows so much more, for the smirk cleared everything that was foggy and overshadowed. She always has a way, a way of her own. Nothing or nobody stood in her way. Perhaps the smirk was blindfolding her. And even on the longest and most intricate night, she never laid awake, the smirk was her sleeping pill. It was obvious that the smirk was watching out her dreams, never letting any nightmare in.

Mellowed, she never was, not even by the raging sun or still night. As much as she loved being alone, the smirk hated stranding her. She made her way through the worst crowd. Men didn’t dare being in close proximity to her, even when required. The smirk kept them at a distance. Their attempts to strike a conversation also went down the drain. The smirk was so disturbing that they left the conversation in the middle, like a receiver hanging loose from the telephone. The smirk silenced every bad mouth, lowered every raised eyebrow and straightened every frowned forehead. They called her mad when she walked through estranged roads at midnight. And through highways where no woman dared set foot. Each footstep faster and more certain than the previous. Isolated or not, it never made any difference to her. The smirk made them insecure. Each time, when she gets on the late night bus crammed with men, they make a conscious yet successful effort not to brush past her, for reasons they haven’t understood yet. And once she grabs a window seat, quietly combing through the local newspaper and, looking out of the window every now and then, almost every man secretly stare at her, wanting and envying her free spirit. Reminding yet another movie cliché, that’s when the breeze falls on her face, gently blowing her hair, and the twinkle in her eyes sparked with a rebellious twinge, makes a sudden visit, making her face radiate with an unusual power. The power of knowing probably.

The smirk was intimidating, for men in particular. Because that smirk came from knowing. Knowing men too well. She knew every curve of her body well and exactly which make them go haywire. She knew all the imaginable and unimaginable they would do. She knew all the permutations and combinations they would try. Moreover she knew the beast in them and even better, when the beast got the better of them. They thought they were unleashing the animal in them and she knew they were leashed inside this animality. They thought they were being strong, manly & brave and she knew they were being weak, kittens & chicken shits. The only feeling she could recognize she has towards them is pity. The pity that came from knowing. And knowledge indeed is power. She knows that too well now.


3 weeks ago

No longer does she know fear. They thought they took a lot from her. But the truth was they couldn’t take anything and only she knew it. The wounds were too fresh, the pain too strong. Still nothing could change her and she never lost herself. She was supposed to feel grey or blue but all she could feel was sunshine yellow and kelly green. The smirk wouldn’t let her break down. Nor it would let peace and hope slip away. She didn’t even have to start over because nothing had ended for her in the first place. At that point, she turned it around and grew, reaching another, higher level. As she was lying motionless on the river bank, she thought of what happened a few hours ago.

It seemed as if she stepped out of her body and was watching what was happening, not able to do anything about it. All she was thinking was that they could take her body, but she would not let them take her soul! She did not feel a thing. When one of them first started penetrating her she could feel him, but the more and longer he was inside of her the less she felt him. She just shut down. It felt like an outer body experience. As the four of them took turns doing everything possible, just before she collapsed, her pleas gave way to something else, as if she had a sudden moment of enlightenment. That’s when the smirk was born on her virgin lips.

Meet her.
http://ibnlive.in.com/news/bengali-girl-gangraped-in-kannur/215441-60-116.html


© Tessa Geogi